Mrs – A Story We’ve All Lived, But Never Questioned
International Women’s Day 2025 Special Story
By Rakhi Chawla
I watched Mrs. last week. And I haven’t been able to shake it off since.
It wasn’t just a movie. It was a mirror. A deeply unsettling one.
I sat there, watching, absorbing, feeling 95% of it as if it were my own life playing out on screen.
The remaining 5%?
That was my misplaced hope—the belief that something might get ‘fixed’ in the end.
But life doesn’t work that way, does it?
And as I scrolled through endless reviews, I saw how quickly the conversation turned into yet another Men vs. Women debate.
But is that really the issue?
Because when I look back at the men in my life—I see simplicity. They love deeply. They wish to protect, to provide, to be enough.
So where does it go wrong?
The Real Custodians of Patriarchy: The Women Themselves
Here’s the truth—women have been the fiercest gatekeepers of patriarchy, more than men themselves.
For generations, women have carried, nurtured, and enforced the very system that has kept them bound. They silenced their daughters, trained them to obey, and glorified suffering as love. They raised sons to believe they must be served, protected, and worshipped.
The cycle isn’t sustained by men alone. It thrives because women themselves refuse to break it. It starts early. The pedestal. The worship.
“Mera pati toh bhagwan hai.”
“Mera beta toh mera sab kuch hai.”
His plate is always served first. His choices never questioned. His needs always met.
A husband who can’t cook? A father who believes ghar ka kaam is his wife’s domain?
It isn’t because he was born that way. It’s because he was raised that way.
The Good Girl Syndrome: The Perfect Trap
And then, the good girl enters the scene.
She has done everything right. Studied well. Never questioned traditions.
And when the time came, her parents did what they thought was best. They found her a prospective match.
A doctor. A well-earning man. A secure future.
And just like that, she was ready for the biggest decision of her life.
Except… was she?
Because we prepare our daughters for weddings, not marriages.
We teach them about outfits, guest lists, and rituals.
But do we ever teach them about partnership? About equality? About autonomy?
Do we ever ask:
“Does he share your vision for life?”
“Do you know who you are beyond this marriage?”
No.
Because we miniscule our worth to just one thing: profession and financial stability.
“He is a doctor.”
“He earns well.”
And in that moment, we set the foundation for something that will suffocate not just the woman, but the man too.
Because once a man is chosen for his profession alone, he is never allowed to falter.
The same system that cages women in expectations of sacrifice also cages men in the unrelenting pressure to provide.
He must earn. He must succeed. He must carry the weight of the perfect provider. Even if it drains him.
And what about her?
She walks into a marriage with the good girl mindset. The idea that if she does everything right, if she adjusts enough, everything will be perfect.
But perfection is an illusion.
And then comes the ultimate blow—
“Education has ruined your mind.”
If breaking the generational cycle is ruining, then so be it. Because I refuse to serve someone for whom food is the highest priority, and my worth is reduced to it.
The Unspoken Fear: A Mother’s Insecurity
And then, when she enters her new home, she faces an unexpected rival—her mother-in-law.
Not because the MIL is evil. But because she is threatened.
A love that has been hoarded, protected, never shared. A love that was conditioned to believe that a son’s loyalty belongs only to his mother.
A secured mother—one who knows her son’s love isn’t conditional—will never feel threatened by another woman’s presence in his life.
She will welcome the DIL as an addition, not a replacement.
But a mother who has wrapped her entire existence around being needed will struggle when someone else enters the equation.
That’s when love turns into control.
That’s when guidance turns into policing.
That’s when the kitchen becomes a battleground.
And this is why the cycle continues.
She looked around—her mother, her mother-in-law, and her bua-in-law. Different women. Same script. Same mindset. Same expectations.
Mothers who spent their whole lives sacrificing suddenly don’t want their daughters-in-law to have the luxury they never had.
And the moment a husband starts helping his wife, the same women who raised him attack.
“Ab toh humara beta joru ka ghulam ban gaya hai.”
Or worse—
“Look at him! He was such a lazy one at home. But see how responsible he has become after marriage!”
Do you hear yourselves?
Because you never let your husband help you, you made your children so dependent on you, that now, you cannot bear to see another woman enjoy the equality you never had.
But believe me, the men raised by strong, independent mothers will never continue this cycle.
It’s the ones who have glorified the false balance of their parents’ marriage that live in the greatest delusion.
Sit down with your mother sometime.
Ask her about her silent sacrifices.
Her lost dreams.
And maybe, just maybe, you’ll start seeing the truth.
Breaking the Cycle
Real love isn’t measured by how much you sacrifice. It’s measured by how much you empower.
It’s when my family members can pack their own suitcase.
Make their own meals.
Live their own lives.
It’s when a marriage isn’t built on roles but on respect.
When a woman isn’t reduced to obedience, but ownership of her life.
When a mother’s love is secure enough to not fear another woman’s presence in her son’s life.
And when a man doesn’t carry the burden of being the sole provider, but a true partner in every sense.
Because in the end, patriarchy isn’t just about men holding power.
It’s about women enforcing it in the name of tradition, duty, and sacrifice.
It’s time to break free.
Disclaimer: You might resonate with this. You might hate it. Each to their own.
